Mr. September: Zack Ward

By Superheidi on August 31st, 2008

Zack Ward, red-headed and bemuscled, is a sexy man. He’s also the star of the most recent Uwe Boll video game adaptation, Postal, in which he plays a man who gets to shoot an automatic weapon at random people on the street. Nice. You might remember little Zacky from his role as the bully Scut Farkus in Bob Clark’s A Christmas Story back in 1983 or from his stint as Dave on the TV series Titus. But what you probably don’t remember is this ruddy Canadian’s career in such genre fare as Fred Olen Ray’s 1995 Starhunter, the disaster-sci-fi Atomic Train, Freddy Vs. Jason, and numerous TV appearances on shows like Charmed, The Outer Limits, Lost, Friday the 13th The Series, Forever Knight, Sliders and my personal favorite – Boogie’s Diner. You recently saw him as Sergeant Donnelly in Transformers and as Billy the Kid in Bloodrayne II. He’ll be in the upcoming horror movies Alone in the Dark II (again, Uwe Boll strikes), Dead and Gone and the tentatively titled Gehenna project Ice 44. Zack is witty, funny, and extremely sexy. He is the only red-headed stud to date, so check him out and be floored by how hot he is…

What's the sexiest thing a woman has ever done for you?

Sign divorce papers? Be ready on time? Seriously though, going out to a black tie gala event, dressed in a tux, her in an evening dress, and when she came back to the table she put her panties in my hand. No one else knew, but I DID, and I couldn't even think straight. The anticipation was a sly smile on my face all night long.

Sort of "gangsta" (his own words), Zack poses for a picture.

How does it feel to be one of the only two hot male redheads in the world, the other being Eric Stoltz? And who is cuter, you or Eric? Why?

Feels damn good! My mom says "thanks" by the way. Eric is cuter with the long hair and big doe eyes. I'm the evil twin. The characters I usually play would probably rape and eat him, unless it was Dave Titus, then I'd just smoke him under the table.

This is what his agent called his "edgy, Crispin-Glover role-grabber" look

Who would win in a fight: You or Vincent Gallo? And why? Would you care to publicly challenge him in this interview?

I don't know his fight card, but I do know mine. Safe moneys on me, "cause I rhyme a little bit, but I pop nines" (50 Cent). No public challenge till there's money or honor on the table, till then, I'll just keep quietly watching him in the night while he sleeps. Yessssssss.

As vampire Billy the Kid in Uwe Boll's "Bloodrayne II"

You play vampire Billy the Kid in "Bloodrayne II". Let’s see if you did your research. Please say whether the following are FACT or FICTION about the real life Billy the Kid:

A) Billy killed a man when he was 12 because that bad man insulted his mother.

FALSE. Billy was an orphan. It is rumored he killed a boy named Cade (?) at the orphanage, but nothing supports this.

B) Billy the Kid rode with Jesse James at one point.

FALSE. Billy met Jesse in Las Vegas, New Mexico, when he was in the process of contacting the Governor to turn himself in.

C) Billy the Kid was a vampire.

Uuhh, no. He was a Franken Wolf! He was rebuilt from dead werewolves. You'll never believe where they put his neck bolts.

Zack, filming a cologne commercial in Japan. He's big in Japan. You didn't know?

Why was your Billy the Kid better than Emilio Estevez's in "Young Guns I" & "II"? Please use the words "Martin Sheen", "Christian Slater" and "13-year-old Girls" in your answer.

Because mine is bullet proof, has long hair like Jim Morrison, likes to seduce and devour 13 year old girls, (paternal oedipal complex with pointy teeth and blood) and unlike Martin Sheen or Christian Slater, has red hair, therefore even more of a rarity.

Many people don't know how thoughtful and downright pensive Zack can be.

What is the scene (or scenes) that people find most shocking in "Postal"?

The cat silencer, my fat bitch (character name ladies, don't go feminazi on me) the Nazi outfit, my bad acting, etc.

Zack is known for his silly antics at photo shoots. Stop it, Zack! You're making us laugh too hard!

How is "Postal" different from everything else Boll has done?

It’s funny and has a point.

Zack loves clever t-shirts, as does everyone.

Can you talk about your upcoming horror movies "Gehenna" and "Alone in the Dark II"?

Gehenna is a monster film about a Gorilla that gets toxic henna tattoos on the Venice boardwalk, and then goes CRAZY at a beach rave. Fucking classic.

Alone in the Dark II is....awesome? Based on the most recent game release it takes place in New York and all sorts of otherworldly shit busts into the big apple. Kind of like Ghostbusters meets Hostel.

Topless chain-fu! Zack is a master blackbelt!

The original Orient Express started service on October 4, 1883. What two cities marked the starting and ending points of the journey?

England, at the bedroom of Queen Elizabeth the first, and ended in Budapest, Hungary, at the door of Mr. Chong’s famous kung Fu Chicken, hence "the ORIENT" express. That was some damn good chicken.

Taken moments after security asked Mr. Ward to please observe the dress code and put his shirt back on.

Which film are you sexiest in?

The one I'm doing now called In My Pocket. Covered in tattoos, lead guitar player, coke head, ex-con, motorcycle riding bad ass. Everyone loves the bad boy.

Zack has a very serious skin disorder which he treats with heavy monthly doses of steroids and pennicillin.