Mr. June 2009: Mike J. Nelson

Mike J. Nelson is arguably the funniest man alive. And you know what they say – “make ‘em laugh, make ‘em breakfast!” (Or is it just my ex husband that says that?) In any case, Mike became every nerd girl’s biggest crush when he became the host of the awesomely amazing ‘mock bad movies’ TV show Mystery Science Theater 3000 in the early 90’s (he also wrote and directed episodes) and made us see the humor in bad b-movies (other than the fact that they were bad b-movies). Now he’s launching Rifftrax, a website where you can download on-demand Mike’s sarcasm! Mike is our Scary Stud of the Month because I think he’s cute in a dorky, fun, b-movie-riffing, nice-arms kind of way (and you do too!) Behold the glory of Mike, stripped down (not really) and hardcore (depends on your definition of that word) for your reading (reading is fun!) pleasure...

How does it feel, huh, Mikey? How's it feel to be on the OTHER side?

Did you go to Prom, and if so, what did you wear?

I did, uh, but it is a sad story though. I was stood up at Prom. The girl pretended she was sick, she went to another prom in another town, thinking that I wouldn’t find out. So I went with some other guys who had to sneak into prom.

No, this is NOT a kid's show; it's Mike's 'Mystery Science Theater 3000'! Like a kid's show, but without any of that 'learning' crap.

So you got drunk, at least, I hope?

I don’t remember, so I must have! I don’t have much memory of it except that I’m one of "those" guys. But it didn’t scar me too deeply.

More MSTK3000 Mayem!

What can a girl expect on a date with Mike Nelson?

Red Hot Loving.

If you go on a movie on your date, will you just end up talking through the whole thing?

Most likely, because most movies don’t hold my interest.

faced with the anguish of the vicissitudes of a career in the 'biz', or merely constipated?

You attended the University of Wisconsin! I’m sure you know a lot about the school ,and have a great interest in the history of the school, right?

I went to the University of Wisconsin at River Falls.

The popular one! Here’s a multiple choice question about U of W.
As everyone knows, U of W is famous for doing the first test of butter fat content ! Right? Of course. So, I hope you don’t embarrass yourself here. Was that test done in:

A) 1890
B) 1891
C) Never

1891.

Right! (Wrong, its 1890, but when you think a boy is cute you let him win.)

Mike playing with a 'A Christmas Story' Ralphie doll. Mike makes Ralphie and Barbie have 'dates'. He also made Ralphie marry his hamster.

This is the part where you get to pimp Rifftrax:

Well, first of all, we’ve done Twilight. Robert Patterson – come on!

Making fun of Twilight NEVER gets old, ever!

And who doesn’t love a 19 year old boy with makeup on!? I know I do!

After this movie I have started wearing white lipstick and spiking my hair up, and the ladies love it! We have a lot of things that I think will appeal to women. Unfortunately those don’t sell as well! I think the superhero movies we have, the ladies love those.

Most popular movie commentary on Rifftrax right now?

Oh, I know, the Harry Potters! Everyone loves Harry Potter. Those that aren’t big productions don’t do as well, even though those are my favorites.

There's something sexy about this photo! Blue polo shirts never (ever) looked this good!

So what do fans get when they buy a Rifftrax DVD?

Hopefully, nonstop laughter! We get a lot of people who are fans of Twilight. We get more comments on that than anything I’ve ever done. “I love Twilight, I love your version of it, and you made me love it more” So, if you’re a fan of something, don’t think we’re just sitting there making fun of it. It’s a lot, you know, like watching something with your funniest friend.

This is the kind of thing mike would find 'funny'. Mocking Christ's pain! (I agree that mocking Christ's pain is funny)

Who is the sexiest lady in a B-movie you’ve ever seen?

Beverly Garland! Is she still alive? I met her years ago!

Upcoming projects? Books?

I was somewhat disappointed with my ‘book premiere’.

Proportionately just so much more work than the other stuff I’m doing – so much more lead time, and then when they come out they don’t really promote it or anything, you’re kinda left holding the bag. So, uh, I am not eager to get back into that. As much as I enjoy doing the actual work. But if they don’t get to the people that you think would enjoy it, then.. Every writer thinks their work is under promoted. But when you’re writing something three years in advance, it’s hard when it comes out and there’s not a lot of promotion.

Now, with Rifftrax, you do it one day, and it comes out a couple days later. And people react to it quickly, and I really love that.

Mike signing at a convention with his robot-friends Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy

Cremation: for or against?

I don’t have a solid opinion on that – I’d like to see a couple people cremated, but that’s probably not the answer you were looking for.

Crappier: Manos the Hands of Fate with your commentary, or without?

I would very much like to think it’s crappier without my commentary, although I believe it’s hilarious both ways. Although many people are frightened by it. I have had a lot of people come up to me and say “I just can’t watch it, even with your commentary, its too creepy!” I always look at darker weirder things and think they’re funny.

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