Mr. August: Adam Green

Adam Green woke up on just a few hours sleep after flying into Los Angeles from New York so he wouldn't miss his Scary Stud Photoshoot. We loved him already. But what we love more is how truly sweet and awesome he is, and how incredibly cute he is when he gets shy. Ladies, Adam Green is an emerging director with a movie that's getting more buzz than Lindsay Lohan's kidneys; Hatchet. Following the Sept 7th, '07 theatrical release of that slasher film, Green will follow it up with the intriguing Spiral. In contrast to his shyness, Green rallied his fans in a triumphant battle cry for all things Hatchet at the 2007 San Diego Comic Con, cementing in an audience literally starved for some decent horror. Pretty/Scary hopes you enjoy Adam Green as much as we do...

Adam, in his official audition for the role of Johnny Depp in the television movie "Street of Broken Dreams: The 21 Jumpstreet Story".

Can you describe what a date with Adam Green is like?

I guess it depends. I mean, if my Mom drives and your Mom picks up then it's usually pretty standard. Dinner at Subway (if I have a coupon) and then I'll buy myself a ticket to whatever movie we are going to, have you go outside around the back alley, and sneak you in through the "exit" door. It sort of all boils down to which side of the country we are on. On the East Coast my dates tend to end over a Reese's Pieces Sundae at Friendly's with an earth moving kiss goodnight. But on the West Coast my dates tend to end with you waking up the next morning behind a Sizzler, really groggy and out of it, with a very sore ass and your prescription painkillers stolen. It's just how a thug from Holliston, MA roles.

What's black and white and red all over?

I don't know. What?

Adam, apparently stoned in L.A.

Why is your film Hatchet getting so much attention? Tell us why people should see it.

Because it's actually good. Every movie these days is trying to taut itself like the most depraved, disturbing, or ground breaking thing to ever hit the horror fans. Hatchet isn't any of that. People are loving it because it's the sort of movie that reminds you why you got into this stuff in the first place. It's a giant middle finger to where the genre is at and it's the movie that is putting the heart back in horror. Am I supposed to have a good time watching nothing happen in a PG-13 "horror" movie or (even worse) watching someone be raped or made to realistically suffer in pain in front of me? Just give me a decent script, some blood, some boobs, and some scares and I'm a happy guy. Not to mention- where did the Boogyman go? Why don't we have any more villains or monsters to fear and cheer for? It's time to bring it back again with a new character.

Why should people see it? Because it's YOUR fault that the genre sucks such ass right now and you owe it to all of us to go support something original and good at the box office. Every convention, every website..."what's with all the remakes, why is everything PG-13, I'm sick of torture porn"...guess what? It's only out there because YOU kept paying to go see it. Do you really think Hollywood cares what kind of movies they make? They would justify making Holocaust Comedies if you guys would spend your money on it. Hatchet is one of the only original R-rated horror films left to come out theatrically this year. Think about it. How sad is that? So don't just sit there and passively watch it go silently into the night. Stand up and DO something. Get out there and support it. Show Hollywood that original horror is not dead and that there IS an audience for this stuff. We're the underdogs on September 7th. We won't start in as many theaters as the major studio films and we won't have ANY advertising budget by comparison- so we can't buy ourselves a strong opening weekend like the others do. All we have going for us is the fans and their hearts. I don't care if it's not playing near you right away. If you don't at least get on-line and buy a ticket opening night- you're a douchebag and you're pulling the switch on R-rated original horror for a long time. This is our chance to make a difference and a lot of us have put half a decade of our lives into getting the movie this far. Don't let us down by being indifferent about it. You want to see Hollywood start making more stuff like this? Then drag everyone you know to the theater opening night. If they're pussies and don't think they can handle the gore...well then just have them buy a ticket on-line and make a donation to save original horror. Sell it like Girl Scout Cookies if you have to. See it multiple times. If you are gonna see another movie, buy a ticket for Hatchet and then sneak in and watch the other one. This is our moment to take horror back.

When you hug your elbows, you're hugging yourself, says Adam. And that makes everything better.

What are your turn-ons?

Tamara Feldman, Mercedes McNab, and Joleigh Fioreavanti. Oh wait, turn-on's or girls I'd like to sleep with? I'm all about what a girl smells like. Bath & Body Works lotions, Victoria's Secret body sprays- all of the "light" stuff that's just sort of there after you walk away but not "perfumey" to the point where I can taste it when I'm talking to you. I'm a whore for back scratches, too. I'd do Zelda from Pet Semetary if she scratched my back long enough. The song "Change In The House Of Flies" by Deftones can get it done, too. At an appearance I did this Spring, a fan started blowing on the side of my neck and doing that "oops, I rubbed my boobs against your chest so you could feel what they're like" thing while we were waiting for her friend to take the picture. I was ready to throw her on the autograph table and give the fans a real show right there. But then I realized the person taking the picture was her Mom and that the girl was only 14. So I went home and castrated myself. But rather than list all of my turn-ons I can usually just point at my girlfriend, Rileah. She's a living billboard for everything I like.

Adam, intently directing...

Turn-offs?

Bad breath. And I can't stress that enough. It's the easiest thing to control because even if you forgot to brush your teeth for a year- there's a million quick fixes for it starting with gum, mints, and breath strips. Kate Beckinsale could be standing in front of me naked begging me to sleep with her - but if her breath smelled like ass...oh, who am I kidding? I'd still do it. Did you see her in Click? Ridiculous! But if it was anyone BUT Kate Beckinsale- I'd say no because of the breath thing. I'm not into girls that gleefully burp and fart in front of you. They think they're so "oh my god, I'm the cool chick who just doesn't care" - but they're really just fucking gross. If you gotta do it, you gotta do it- but don't celebrate it and at least make an effort to excuse yourself. Lastly, taste in music is a big one. If your favorite bands include Dave Matthews, Blues Traveler, or Coldplay - you have no defined taste in music. You're an average "MIX" radio station listener and you have no opinion or soul.

Cue Pic of Adam (going on many young girls' myspace pages).

What's the deal with like, the war, and whatever?

"WAR IS OVER. If you want it."

Adam in his official Scary Stud Photo Shoot under a freeway bridge/sewage drainpipe. Only the best for Adam.

Pedophilia: Are you for, or against?

I try not to eat things that I can't spell. But I suppose I'd try anything once.

Are you a better filmmaker than Eli Roth? be honest...

I don't waste any time competing with my friends and peers. Instead, I go straight for the top and play dirty. I killed Stanley Kubrick. (Shhh!)

Official Shoot, again.

Do girls like you more now that you're a horror film director, or did they like you better before?

I always did extremely well with the ladies, I'm not gonna lie. The only difference these days is that the ones approaching me wear a lot more black make-up or are dudes.

Name three things that were wrong with Quentin Tarantino's Deathproof. Do not exceed 3 sentences.

1. I wasn't asked to do a mock trailer before it.



2. Not enough people saw it because audiences today don't know a good movie when they see one.



3. Mary Elizabeth Winstead is so adorable that it physically hurts to watch the movie.

Adam, looking into his telescope, wondering what dreams may come to man's destiny...

Do you like puppies?

To quote the great philosopher Beefcake The Mighty from GWAR:

"I love puppies. When they're roadkill. They're too cute to live. Too cute to live- too cute like...YOU!"