| Organization for Women in Horror |
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| The Legend of Bloody Mary (2008) |
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  Directed by John Stecenko Screenplay by Dominick Domingo, Lisa G. Meyers
Cast: Paul Preiss, Robert J. Locke, Caitlin Wachs, Nicole Aiken, Brittany Miller, Rachel Taylor, Stephen Macht
2008, Lionsgate www.legendofbloodymary.com
Review by Dai
When nightmares of his sister’s disappearance start to affect every aspect of this life, Ryan's loved ones decide its time to step in and take action. But in order to cure him they must track down the legend of Bloody Mary and break her curse before its too late. This is what happens when you take a good story premise but have no idea how to write a script and make a movie around it...
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Posted by Superheidi on Tuesday, September 30, 2008 @ 04:00:00 CDT
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 Hybrid
Written by Arne Olsen
Directed by Yelena Lanskaya
Featuring Justine Bateman, Tinsel Corey, Gordon Tootosis, Cory Monteith
2008 This was apparently a Sci-Fi channel TV movie that aired March 16, 2008 and is now on DVD as part of the Maneater series from Genius Entertainment. It opens with lots of stock footage of wolves running around and being wolfy, and then beings to tell the story of Aaron, a young man blinded in a work-related accident and his eye-transplant. Yes, that’s right. Justine Bateman is a scientist who transplants eyes from animals into other animals in a revolutionary new form of surgery not approved by any medical boards. When the government gets wind of it they want to experiment on humans and try and create super-soldiers with animal eyes (I mean, yes, I didn’t write the damn movie). Young Aaron is given wolf eyes (but hey, at least he didn’t have to pay for his surgery…)
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Posted by Superheidi on Monday, July 14, 2008 @ 01:00:00 CDT
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by Gabby Goff
 Directed by Gregg Simon
Written by Nicholas Bonomo, Francisco Rodriguez, Dirk Van Fleet
Featuring: Mark Hengst, Makinna Ridgway, Kit Paquin, Penny Drake, Nena Fehren, Noelle Kenney, Brooke Lenzi, Justine Marino, Stefanie Solano, Allen Yates, Jackson Sowell...
www.thecookmovie.com
This movie sucked. Why? Because the nerd got laid before getting killed but the good little Christian girl doesn’t even get a chocolate-syrup-laden lick? Come on now! Hmmm, we’ve got sorority girls cut straight from “House on sorority row”, closet lesbians, a nerd boy, a killer cook, and a red-headed dominatrix! The only thing we are missing is some possession scenes. Maybe some strip- séance games. A secret hidden in the house somewhere…Anyway, you have some slightly comedic soft-core sex scenes, some blood, and a humorous hot male lead in "The Cook".
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Posted by GabbyGoff on Thursday, May 01, 2008 @ 05:00:00 CDT
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| 'Disaster Movie' with Carmen Electra and Kim Kardashian will be a disaster |
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 Spoofing the disaster movie genre and other blockbusters, the trio of gorgeous but dead-behind-the-eyes Carmen Electra, Kim Kardashian and Vanessa Minnillo are currently filming the sure to be disastrous Disaster Movie, which is written and being directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. Scary Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans are all their fault as well.
It’s bawdy. It's stupid. and it’s exuberant. It's a train wreck waiting to happen with three of the most talentless women on Earth, one of whom is a TMZ regular famous for having a sex tape and a big ass. Is there any way you can not be interested?
Carmen and the gals take on one of the biggest and most bloated movie genres of all time - disaster films. This movie centers on a group of ridiculously attractive twenty-somethings who are trying to make their way to safety as every known natural disaster - asteroids, twisters, earthquakes, the works - hits the city in one fateful night. The story follows this group of friends on their comic misadventures as they try to escape in the midst of catastrophic events while simultaneously trying to solve a series of mysteries to end the destruction. Disaster Movie will spoof everything and everyone, from Sex and the City and There Will Be Blood to Amy Winehouse and Dr. Phil, who seems to have even less shame than most of his talk show guests. The film is in production right now in Shreveport, Louisiana.
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Posted by Superheidi on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 @ 13:43:00 CDT
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 The Caretaker
Directed by: Bryce Olson
Written and Produced by: Jackie Olson
Featuring: Kira Verrastro, Jennifer Freeman, Andrew St. John, James Immekus, Diego Torres and Jonathan Breck.
So, Homecoming is on Halloween this year, and a group of guys take a group of girls out to a scary haunted house because as everyone knows, scared girls like to have sex. I don’t really recall the logic behind this film, but it starts out something like that. Now, Tansy, or Sonya, or Ella or someone (I don’t recall names – that’s how memorable the female characters are) has a very overprotective father played by Judd nelson. It seems that Judd’s wife died when EllaSonyaTansy was very little, and it caused him so much pain he is determined to never lose her, too. So, if Judd found out they snuck off to the house of the caretaker, he’d be mad! Who is ‘the caretaker’? Only the creepiest guy in the world who chained up his own wife and she died! Talk about insecure…
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Posted by Superheidi on Wednesday, May 07, 2008 @ 02:00:00 CDT
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| Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007) |
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 Halloween or Michael Myers: The True Story of an Extra in the Hit Film Deliverance
Directed by: Rob Zombie
Featuring: Malcolm McDowell, Sheri Moon Zombie, Scout Taylor-Compton, Danielle Harris, Leslie Easterbrook
2007
Review by Christ Cochran
I want to like Rob Zombie. He seems like a cool kind of guy that likes horror movies and hillbillies, and shit like that. You know, someone that I could probably relate to on a certain level pertaining to those types of things. I’ve even enjoyed his music. Though he’s starting to mellow a bit musically, he’s still not bad, and I can listen to his songs and like them…
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 April Fool’s Day
Written By: Mikey Wigart, Danilo Bach, Phil Flores, Mitchell Altieri
Directed by: Phil Flores, Mitchell Altieri
Featuring: Sabrina Aldridge, Samuel Child, Taylor Cole, Josh Henderson, R. Keith Harris, Joe Egender, Jennifer Siebel, Scout Taylor-Compton
2008, Release Date: April 1, 2008
Joke's on you if you rent this...It’s a very bad remake of a very bad horror film. In the latest bad tradition of stupid teen TV shows where all the kids act and sound like horny, troubled adults, like Gossip Girl and The O.C., we get April Fool’s Day, a badly-made reinvention of the 1986 movie by Danilo Bach and Fred Walton that makes Cruel Intentions seem like Dangerous Liaisons. Seriously, it’s all rich kids playing cruel ‘April Fool’s Jokes’ on each other, living in Beverly Hills Teens luxury, and with names like Milan, Barbie, Chanel, and Blaine. Oh, let’s not forget the gay gossip columnist/teenager Seton Motley. Scout Taylor Compton plays ‘Torrance’, a teenager having her debutante ball at Blaine and Desiree’s mansion. Blaine and Desiree are the ‘Kennedys’ of North Carolina, or wherever the hell they are, and live in opulent and irritating luxury. Well, at Torrance’s party, Desiree and Blaine plan mean revenge on Milan, because she suddenly decided she wants to do charity work (the bitch!). They drug her and Blaine attempts to date-rape her, while Desiree videotapes. Ryan, Seton, Barbie, and Peter all watch too. But the date-rape drugging has gone horribly awry when Milan stumbles and falls over a balcony and dies! Worst of all, Torrance’s party is ruined! Humph!...
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Posted by Superheidi on Tuesday, April 01, 2008 @ 01:00:00 CDT
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 Shutter
Directed by: Masayuki Ochiai
Written by: Luke Dawson
Featuring: Joshua Jackson, Rachel Taylor, John Hensley
www.shutter-movie.com Release Date 3/21/08
Review by Superheidi
There was an embargo on press writing their reviews and posting them until opening day (3/21) on this film, but I can’t stand that you might accidentally buy tickets for it and go and I could have done something to prevent it. Don’t see this movie. You might enjoy 20 minutes of it total, but I can’t justify Hollywood sucking money out of your wallet for this predictable P.O.S. It’s like The Eye, Pulse, and all those other crappy Asian Horror remakes that suck so bad and make you forget why you liked the original. Not even an Asian dude directing it could save it.
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Posted by Superheidi on Friday, March 21, 2008 @ 02:00:00 CDT
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 The Sick House
Directed By: Curtis Radclyffe
Written by: Romla Walker
Featuring: Gina Phillips, Alex Hassel, Kellie Shirley, Andrew Knott, Jack Bailey
www.thesickhousefilm.com, Release date 3/18/08
Review by SuperheidiBritish indie director Curtis Radclyffe, who hasn’t done anything since 1996 with Sweet Angel Mine which no one has ever seen, is beginning anew with The Sick House, co-written by Romla Walker (an actress who plays the stunning professor Holland in a few brief scenes). What is their relationship? Are they dating? Anyway, This dark and confusing mess is about an urban archeological site in London where a orphanage is the thesis paper of PHD student Anna (Gina Phillips of Jeepers Creepers & Dead and Breakfast) and the Black Plague comes back to haunt people, literally, is so strange and jumbled it’s just not worth straining your eyes over. Unless you like Gina Phillips.
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Posted by Superheidi on Monday, March 10, 2008 @ 02:00:00 CDT
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 Diary of the Dead
Written and directed by George Romero
Co-Produced by Paula Devonshire
Featuring: Michelle Morgan, Joshua Close, Amy Ciupak Lalonde, Tatiana Maslany, Shawn Roberts, Megan park
2008, www.myspace.com/diaryofthedead
Review by Superheidi
A zombie movie by horror-great Romero made especially for the ‘YouTube generation”! By making this badly crafted, irritatingly emotionless and serially disappointing zombie movie to prove that he’s still in touch with today’s youthful horror-movie fans, Romero proves he is awkwardly out-of-touch with today’s youthful horror movie fans. Whereas in his previous films (like, back when he was young) like Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead (and even in the more recent Land of the Dead) there was some socially-conscious dogma behind the zombie-chomping, it was always subtle. Diary of the Dead literally beats you over the head with the social “message” while you’re standing there kicking a dead horse for nearly two hours. Ugh…
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Posted by Superheidi on Friday, February 08, 2008 @ 21:22:50 CST
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 Rambo
Directed by: Sylvester Stallone
Featuring: Sylvester Stallone, Julie Benz, Matthew Marsden, Graham McTavish
2008
Review by Jim Van Bebber
Well, twenty years after helping form the Taliban, John Rambo, Viet Nam veteran, returns to the movie screens. Worth the wait? I dunno….
Let us recap: “First Blood” was and is an important American movie, dealing with ongoing problem of what America does with its soldiers returning home and attempting to assimilate back into society. “Rambo: First Blood Part 2” was and is an extremely well done Action movie. Despite its ridiculous politics, the film stands as the best Tarzan film never made. “Rambo 3” is a wholly dispensable, boring pile that is redeemed only by its unintentional comedy (Sly picking up a dead sheep on horseback in slow motion or Troutman’s dialogue with his Soviet captors: “Where are the missiles?” “They’re in your ass.”)
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 The Hitcher or If I ever see Michael Bay with his thumb out, he’ll be eating bumper!
Directed by: Dave Meyers
Featuring: Sophia Bush, Sean Bean, Zachary Knighton, Neal McDonough
2007
Review by Christ Cochran
Wow. If you’re anything like me (and I realize that few people are, but work with me here), you hope that people that remake perfectly passable and decent movies have a place reserved in their own circle of Hell. In my mind, when dealing with horror movie remakes, Michael Bay is going to rule that circle…
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| Getting hostile about Hostel: Part II |
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 Hostel: Part II
Written/Directed by: Eli Roth
Featuring: Lauren German, Heather Matarazzo, Bijou Phillips
2007
Review by Christ Cochran
I’m convinced that Eli Roth hates the American movie going public, and thinks that these people can’t figure anything out. I mean, I liked Cabin Fever when it came out, but its sad to think that he might have hit his peak with his first. I watched the first Hostel in the theater and thought that he had slipped as a storyteller…
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| 'Halloween' is coming out... |
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 Halloween by Rob Zombie is a totally over-hyped P.O.S. if you really wanna know what I think. The DVD is out Dec 18, and when I got my advance copy, the most exciting thing on it was the blooper reel, which features a drunk Malcolm McDowell screwing around onset, making fun of Udo Kier, calling him a Nazi over and over. Then, in another blooper with Brad Dourif, both of them are talking about how drunk they are and Malcolm adresses the camera, saying he hoped that the Weinsteins were not going to see the dailies. While this makes Malcolm Aces in my personal book, it just makes the rest of the film look like crapola.
I know some people liked the Halloween remake. I thought it was so full of bad, dumb dioalogue like "I'll put you in a rubber skirt so fast you won't know what hit you" (I mean, what???) and stupid characters, bad hand-held direction that gave me a headache, and really bad acting that I almost couldn't sit through it. But hey, maybe you like that kind of thing. I know Quentin Tarantino does.
The unrated version shows you all the superfluous, dumb, and uninteresting cameos by Adrienne Barbeau, Daniel Roebuck, and Bill Moseley that were cut out of the thearical feature, along with an extended rape scene in the asylum. Woo. Hoo. ..
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Posted by Superheidi on Friday, December 14, 2007 @ 00:00:00 CST
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| Hayley Cloake’s “House of Usher” Crumbles |
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 The House of Usher
Release date- Sept 11th, 2007
Directed by: Hayley Cloake
Starring: Austin Nichols, Izabella Miko, and Beth Grant
www.myspace.com/thehouseofusher
Review by Superheidi
The House of Usher, directed by Hayley Cloake, is a truly miserable example of what it means to take a good mystery story by Edgar Allan Poe and rip it to dumb, boring, and often unbearably long, pieces.
The original story, written in 1839, tells the romantically gothic tale of a line of aristocrats called The Ushers who inhabit a lonely manor house. So far, the story is the same. Maddie and Rick live in a sprawling (only on the outside) mansion somewhere secluded in the United States, obviously terribly wealthy. Jill, their friend from college, is surprised to receive a phone call late one night from Brett, who is also her ex boyfriend, telling her that Maddie is dead, and to please come visit for the funeral. This is painful for Jill on two levels; she hasn’t seen Rick since he and Maddie mysteriously fled college, and now that Maddie is dead, she’ll never see her again. Rick explains that they had to leave because of a terrible illness that strikes down all the Ushers, and that Maddie had become far too ill to stay in school. Satisfied with that answer, Jill agrees not only to come to the funeral, but to stay on for several agonizing weeks as she watches Rick have mood swings, feel sick, and declare his undying love for her. Oh yeah – Rick also hangs around in his sensory deprivation chamber, which “reenergizes” him. OH yeah… they also have lots of unprotected sex.
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| What's happening in the forums? |
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